"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie

The mother of all self-help books, published in 1934 for the first time (though the updated 1981 edition is the most widely read today).  Dale Carnegie was a hustler, let's be realistic.  He was a sly man who knew how to turn things to his own advantage, often without the other person noticing, but not always.  He would have made a great used car salesman, just like his more modern follower Jack Rosenberg/Werner Erhardt with est and the Landmark Forum.

The book contains very common sense truths.  Smile.  Don't be rude.  Don't be extreme.  Control your impulses.  All these things were taught to us by our parents and grandparents when we were children, but most children don't bother to listen.  This is my 3rd or 4th time reading this audio book (never read the paper version) and each time I marvel at how simple the truths are and yet how effective.  Why would something need to be complicated to be effective?

There are criticisms for the book, of course.  It is too simplistic.  We already knew all that (but why not use it then?).  The anecdotes are about (mostly) irrelevant today industrialists and businessmen from the early XX century.  There's too much "brownnosing," Dale trying to show his importance by association, dropping names, describing who he met and how he "handled" them, which comes across as bragging (even humblebragging).

None of the criticisms prevented me from re-reading it once in a while.  It is a very loose writing, so it is great for reading (listening) on the train and subway.  Even if you miss a sentence in the ruckus, Dale repeats himself so much, you're still fine with the comprehension.  Try that with William Gibson's novels - doesn't work. 

As one reviewer put it, the whole book can be summarized in one sentence: "Be a good listener, don't take the acute angle on issues, don't disagree violently, talk about things that make other people happy and use every trick in the book to make the other person feel important."