"The six pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden

I've read this book based on a recommendation in "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar, who calls it the most important book on self-esteem and especially praises it for Branden's method of 'sentence completion' as being one of the most helpful techniques for generating insights. Both of those are true. The book is very well written, full of practical advice and interspersed with Branden's personal experience from his own life.

Branden is quite famous for another thing: he was a long-time lover of the writer/philosopher Ayn Rand (born Alisa Zinovyeva in Petrograd, Russia), while they both were married to other people, and was, for a long period of time, second in command in the Objectivist movement that Rand started. Branden has written plenty on Objectivism, though he eventually left the movement, disillusioned with Rand and the personality cult around her. Rand subsequently excommunicated him from any Objectivist organization.

Branden then concentrated on psychotherapy and formulated his theory of Self-Esteem, which was the first time that term was used. He makes a great point that anyone's self-esteem can be raised, and we are not doomed with what we have been assigned at birth, or by the play of the circumstances. Another great point Branden raises is that self-esteem is not being omnipotent, or omniscient, or always being ready or have the right answer for anything, but a different level of feeling, on a much deeper level, that whatever comes along, we'll be able to handle it, regardless of the fact that at that moment we might have no idea how to do it. He also argues that one cannot have too much self-esteem, as arrogance is erroneously perceived as such, while arrogance, in fact, is a trade mark of too little self-esteem, not too much.

Branden further dedicates the main part of the book expounding what the six pillars or principles, of self-esteem:

1. Live Consciously
Being aware of each action that you do and it's consequences. Avoiding 'robotic' or 'sleepwalking behavior'. Not disowning or denying parts of you that you don't like.

2. Accept Yourself
Branden makes a point of saying unless we accept ourselves exactly the way we are, with all the flaws and imperfections, and even plain malice, there is no way to improve ourselves. Full and unconditional self-acceptance is the first step to improving ourselves.

3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences
Do no deny part of you just because you don't like it. Do not deny your actions, or try to make someone else 'wrong' or 'guilty' just because it doesn't turn out the way you wanted it.

4. Assert Who You Are
Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. Assertiveness is being firmly grounded in who you are and not letting anyone remove you from that position. Not with aggressiveness or attack, but with refusal to budge, politely but firmly.

5. Live Purposefully
Do not settle because you are afraid to fail. Have a goal that inspires you, something bigger than yourself, something you can work your entire life on and still wonder if you will reach it.

6. Maintain Your Integrity
Be honest with yourself and others. It is very tempting to say a lie here and another there, since it seems like they don't hurt anyone. They do hurt you, your self-esteem knows about all of them. Being a person of integrity is much more fulfilling at the end.

The last two parts of the book are more like two essays, on self-esteem in parenting children, and self-esteem nurturing in managing companies. The first part is almost a standard now among modern families and teachers. The second part is not adopted as widely as it should be. There are still managers out there who pride themselves on their 'aggressive' techniques, which are just a front for them being completely incompetent and insecure, and are damaging the self-esteem and the well-being of the employees and the company in general with their mismanagement.

At the end of each chapter there are plenty of 'sentence completion' exercises which can fill up a better part of a year. This book is a basic manual on how the self-esteem mechanism within us works. It should be a required reading for every Homo Sapiens Sapiens.

"Killer in the Rain and other stories" by Raymond Chandler

This book is a collection of four stories: Killer in the Rain, Fingerman, Goldfish and The Curtain. All of these stories were initially published in pulp fiction magazines, and later cannibalized to produce Chandler's first novels. 'Killer in the rain' is half 'The Big Sleep', 'Fingerman' being the other half. If you ever wondered why some elements seem to appear in 'The Big Sleep' once and then are never mentioned again, the short stories give the answer, as they are logical and all elements are well connected.

The plots in the stories are much tighter than in the novels where Chandler indulges in some of his favorite elements (like the hard-boiled dialogs, which I personally love). The detective in the first two stories is unnamed, and in the last two is Carmady, his original detective before inventing the unsurpassed Philip Marlowe.

This collection was published posthumously as Chandler did not allow these stories to be republished during his lifetime. Apparently the original book version has 8 stories in it, out of which the first, second and fourth Chandler's novels were written, but the audiobook version I read had only 4 stories on it.

The style is great and enjoyed reading these stories, however the best introduction to Chandler is reading 'The Big Sleep' and 'Murder, my sweet', and I would recommend those two novels to readers unacquainted with Chandler's work in order to really experience the shock, force and purity of his hard-boiled style.